In recent years, my wife and I have re-established the habit of regular date nights. And we’ve found that going out 2-3 times a month, if not weekly, has become a very positive thing for our marriage. (here’s how we make it happen)
Sadly, many couples lose weeks, months, or even years of marriage where dates are simply a thing of the past, sometimes completely non-existent in their relationship. And as a result, they easily drift apart, or at minimum, fail to experience the many benefits that date nights can provide.
Here are a few of those benefits many couples miss out on. Having a regular date night…
- Livens the Love. Complacency is a marriage killer, but nothing keeps the love alive like two people who are in constant pursuit of each other. When spouses strive to make the marriage more about the other person than they do about themselves, pleasing one another comes more naturally, and they both become easier to love.
- Improves Communication. Any couple with kids still at home knows that having an adult conversation can sometimes seem nearly impossible. And once the kids are in bed, mom and dad are often ready to crash as well. Having regular date nights has improved the communication in our marriage dramatically (my wife says I still have a long way to go). It allows us to catch up on “routine maintenance” in our family, as well as just have some personal and romantic conversation about us and our love for each other.
- Increases Intimacy. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that when two people in love spend more time together alone enhancing their relationship, enhanced intimacy will naturally follow. I can remember back to the days when my wife and I were dating, and how much I anticipated the day that marriage and all of its benefits would be ours. Now when we go on a date, wishing doesn’t have to be a part of the equation. 🙂
- Relieves Stress and Tension. While I find going on dates beneficial and enjoyable for myself, they are even more so for my wife. Any wife or mother of kids can probably relate. Men, our wives simply need to get away from ‘the little people’ every now and then and have some time to unwind and relax. Not to mention, a date night can relieve tension and stress by allowing you and your spouse to focus on your marriage and help you get on the same page in a number of areas.
- Proves Your Priorities. Nothing speaks priority like setting aside a night, getting a babysitter, and scheduling time alone with your spouse. This is especially true for a wife. Our spouse needs to know that we prioritize our relationship enough to make time for it and its growth. But if all we have are excuses for why we can’t, then chances are we won’t. And unfortunately, our spouse will continue to feel less than special to us.
When you fell in love, you couldn’t wait for the next time you went on a date with the love of your life. Well, your spouse should still be the love of your life. So schedule, plan, and anticipate your next date night like you once did. (In fact, why not take some time today to schedule some date nights on your new years’ calendar. Seriously, just do it.) And watch how it rekindles the love you have for one another as you once again start enjoying the many benefits of dating your spouse.
Check out this free End of Year Marriage Checklist that you and your spouse can use to spark discussion in the new year! It requires you to ask and answer 17 questions about the 5 major stress points in every marriage and how you can improve in each one.