I was a 12 year old boy, and here was an attractive girl asking me to kiss her….
Did I want to? Of course. Did I know what I should do? Absolutely. Would I give in to the temptation? I’m glad I didn’t.
The reason? I had made a decision at an even younger age that I was going to save my first kiss for my bride.
As much as I would have loved to kiss that girl as a 12 year old boy whose hormones were starting to kick into gear, I’ve never once regretted the choice I made not to. In fact, I’m quite positive that I’d have regretted it many times since then if I had made the opposite decision.
A first kiss… It’s going to happen at some time in nearly every person’s life. Does it really matter who gets it? Should it really be that big of a deal? It’s just a kiss, right?
In a huggy, kissy society where every fling on TV ends up in a lip lock, I believe that parents should be intentional about teaching their kids that kissing actually has importance and value, rather than being just a fun and flippant thing that’s the norm.
If we don’t give them a reason to believe otherwise, they’ll most likely think the idea of saving their first kiss is as absurd and ridiculous as their friends and Disney both say it is.
Here are three things every parent should impress upon the heart of their child concerning their first kiss:
1. Their first kiss is valuable.
A person’s first kiss is a special gift that should be guarded and kept safe for the future. It can only be given away one first time, so it’s very precious and valuable. We live in a society where there will be many who would gladly take your child’s first kiss if they’ll hold it loosely.
While the world treats a kiss as just innocent and cheap, teach your children to view it as rare and special – a gift that God has given them to protect for the person God intended it for. I’ll be the first to admit to my kids that kissing is fun, but it needs to be given at the right time and saved for the right person, because a kiss really is valuable.
2. God has made Himself clear.
While there’s no word-for-word commandment in the Bible when it comes to saving a first kiss, it’s pretty clear that God takes purity much more seriously than most Christians do, and has set the bar high with some very strict guiding principles.
I Corinthians 6:20 Ye are bought with a price, therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s.
I Corinthians 7:1 It is good for a man not to touch a woman.
I Timothy 4:12 Let no man despise thy youth, but be thou an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity.
II Timothy 2:22 Flee also youthful lusts…
Romans 13:14 But put ye on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make not provision for the flesh, to fulfill the lusts thereof.
Ephesians 5:3 But fornication, and all uncleanness, or covetousness, let it not be once named among you.
I think that as Christians, we’d have a much easier time arguing from the Bible in favor of saving a first kiss than we would for loosely sharing it. Especially when considering that God’s Word speaks clearly that there is not to even be a hint of immorality in the life of the believer.
The way I illustrate it to my own kids is this… “If Dad were to kiss another woman other than your Mom, you would think that’s a wrong thing to do, because that kiss belongs only to her. Now, just because you don’t have a spouse yet doesn’t mean that your kisses are free game to be given away. On either side of marriage, your kiss belongs to your life’s mate and should be given equal respect.”
It’s possible for us to elevate God’s standard of purity over Disney’s standard for our kids. Hollywood makes themselves very clear on the issue. I believe that God has made Himself equally as clear. The problem is often in who our kids are hearing the loudest.
3. If they save it, they won’t regret it.
I don’t think there’s any problem with setting the bar high, but I see great danger in setting the bar too low. Our kids’ moral and sexual purity is at stake and needs to be protected.
Too many young people have given away their treasure because they didn’t have a lock on the latch. The kiss is the latch that opens up the treasure, so guard the latch.
If you set the bar high so as to completely protect your purity, you leave the devil no room to squeeze into your relationship and you keep yourself from even the hint of sexual immorality that may start with kissing or anything beyond it. Teach your kids that guarding their first kiss can protect them from a multitude of potential sins.
It’s important to teach our children not to awaken something that God has intended to stay asleep until the appropriate time. Also, one of the great benefits of maintaining purity now is that it will contribute to a more happy and lasting marriage later.
Absolute purity is definitely worth it!
While saving a first kiss is definitely countercultural, and it may even be difficult, if your kids can go against the grain and save it, you can count on these things:
- Biblical purity is much more likely to be exemplified in their life.
- God will be glorified in their body.
- And both they and their future spouse won’t regret it.
There’s something totally special about saving a valuable gift and giving it away to only one person who was ever intended to receive it in the first place.
The kiss is the latch that opens the treasure. Protect the kiss. Don’t open the latch. Save the treasure.