How to Tell If You’re In Control of Your Kids (or the other way around)

Here are 5 simple ways to tell if you are in control of your kids or the other way around.  Are any of these things happening in your home?

  1. Your kids are telling you “no”, and it goes unchallenged or undisciplined.  They may even hit you, scream at you, or defiantly run away from you and it goes unpunished.
  2. Your kids take advantage of you in public places and you allow it.  They may be small, but they are terribly smart.  And they figure out the rules to the control game very quickly.  They know who’s in the driver’s seat.
  3. Your kids know how many times they can repeatedly disobey you before you will actually do anything. Whether that be a consequence, a raised voice, or you simply “losing it”.  They know the rules to this “game” that you’ve chosen to create (yes, you created it), and so they know your tolerance threshold, as well as your breaking point, and as a result, they take advantage of it.
  4. Your kids ignore what you tell them by simply not responding, or by doing it anyway.  Does this sound familiar… “Stay inside or outside… Quit coming in and out of the house… Keep the door closed!…  If you’re going to play outside, stay outside!”  And it’s almost as if they never even heard you.
  5. Your kids make more of the family decisions than you do. It’s good for parents to give their kids input and allow for preferences to be taken into consideration.  However, never forget that you are the parent. You are responsible for the decisions of your family. This includes what and when they eat, who their friends are, what they watch and listen to, and whether or not they go to church when the doors are open. These and many more are things that you as the parent should decide.  Because your child’s physical, relational and spiritual health is your responsibility and should be in your control.

While these 5 things are meant to help you identify who’s in control in your home, if you find that you’re on the wrong side in one or more of these areas, I’d encourage you to read 4 Ways to Get Your Kids to Take You Seriously.  It contains some helpful solutions to get back on track.  If you’re interested in getting a free weekly article from, click here.

Provoke not your children to wrath, but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. Ephesians 6:4

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