Have you ever found yourself bombarded with questions from your kids asking you to do things with them? Rhetorical question, right? Kids naturally ask a ton of questions, and especially requests for your time and attention.
“Dad, will you come and play this game with me?”
“Mom, will you watch me and see what I can do?”
“Can we go on a bike ride?”
“Will you help me build this?”
“Can we watch a movie together?”
“Do you want to play outside?”
And when they ask, let’s admit that the internal struggle is often very real, because while you want to say yes, they just never seem to ask at “convenient” times.
Do you find yourself at times struggling to say “Yes” to your kids like I do? We want so badly to say “yes”, and yet there’s something else inside of us pulling us in the opposite direction to say “no”. The struggle is real. But so are their needs.
Here are 5 reasons you might be struggling to say “Yes” to your kids:
- You’re too busy “adult-ing”. We get so preoccupied with our busy little life of adulthood that we feel “put out” by our own children’s requests for our time and attention. It ought not be this way.
- You’ve forgotten what it was like to be a kid. Can you go back in your mind to that carefree feeling of childhood? Can you remember how fun life was and how big a deal it was to you when someone older, especially your parents, said “yes” to you. It was a big deal to you. And it’s a big deal to your children right now.
- Your priorities are wrong. If you don’t feel like you can ever say “yes” to your kids when they want to spend time with you, it doesn’t matter what your excuses are, your priorities are totally out of whack.
- You’ve lost sight of what is most important. It’s so natural and so easy to focus on the urgent things at the expense of the most important things in life, and especially when our children are young. Work time quickly replaces family time, and the mandates of our adulthood quickly replace potential memories of our kids’ childhood.
- You’ve believed the lie that “you still have plenty of time”. And if you believe it enough days and months and years in a row, before you know it, you’ve missed an entire childhood. With every moment that passes, they only get older. They never get younger.
So here’s a “YES” challenge for you. Are you ready for it? – See if you can go the next 7 days, one week, without saying “no” to your children when they make any request of your time or attention. Do you think you can say “yes” for 7 days straight, dropping whatever it is that would keep you from saying yes? It sounds easy, but it might just be harder than you think.
- Every time they want to play ball in the backyard.
- Every time they ask you to look at their project.
- Every time they as for your help.
- Every time they want to talk, or for you to simply listen.
- Every time they reach for a hug.
- Every time they ask you to tuck them in.
- Every time they want more of you.
- Every. Single. Time.
Will it inconvenience you? Almost certainly. Will it be difficult? Probably. Is it worth it? Absolutely.
May we never forget that our kids want us, they need us, and they deserve us.
Even if you don’t get it perfect for 7 days straight, try it, and see if it makes a positive impact on your kids. They’re counting on you to be a YES Parent in the ways that matter most.
- If you missed last week’s article on 5 Reasons You’re Struggling to Say NO to Your Kids, you can read it here.